Emotional Homosexuality

 Emotional Homosexuality

 

Theres a swath of men in the world who get married to women and then abandon them for a never ending calendar of "Guys Weekends" and anytime anyone calls they will jump and go help a friend. This is because they dont LOVE their wives, they abandon them at every chance they get. They love being with their guy friends doing guy things, camping, GoCarts, video games, sports, football, watching wrestling. Bonding over wins and losses, Slapping each others butts. 

When these men go away together like to camping or fishing trips or a NASCAR packaged vacation, They can get up on time, shower, straighten up the hotel, take their medications, make food, eat and make all appointments, clean the hotel and take out the trash before turning in the keys at the front desk. They drag their feet at home to do any of that. Its because they are happier being with men.

At home with their wives, they play dumb, they make excuses to not do things, they tune their wives out, they will show up for their kids school activities, but as soon as its over they have something to do with the guys. The only time they dont try to skip out on her is for sex...

So I propose a new sexuality.
Men who are Physically attracted to women (heterosexual), but emotionally attracted to men (homosexual) They like to have sex with woman, but they are in love with and bonded emotionally with men.

What these men should do is buy an apartment complex and move in and have maids come clean, pick up after them and get BlueApron to send food and hire prostitutes. Put up all the NASCAR posters with duct tape they want.  Clear the field in back of the apts and make a GoCart track. Stay home, slap butts, eat cheesesteaks and tomahawk steaks, drink beer, etc
You dont LIKE WOMEN.
Admit it!
You might be sexually attracted to women, but not emotionally attracted to them.