A Menstrual Primer For Men
About a year ago I read a post on Reddit about menstrual pads.
Men were arguing that pads and tampons should be taxed because so is Viagra.
The men were saying pads and tampons are unnecessary.
Unnecessary?!!!
First of all, I have uterine fibroids, I cannot use tampons and If I dont use a pad (and even if I do) I will wake up on day one and day two of my period with blood seeping down my butt crack over the edge of the pad onto and thru my underwear and PJ bottoms and onto the bed.
If women dont use pads or tampons (or as my Dad called them, TAMPOOOONS) the world would look like this:
And now that I mentioned my Dad, lets go into him...
I was 12 when I got my period at my Fathers house, in 1979, it was a Sunday night, nothing was open. He told me he was gonna run to my Uncles restaurant and get stuff for me. He came back with a bag of vending machine tampons and pads.
Then 3 months later, I was at his house again and he was ANGRY cause I had used all the pads.
He had only brought me 10 to 15!
He seriously thought a woman needed ONLY 1 or 2 for the entire cycle!
Here is a man born in the 1920s, a Playboy, A Feminist, a man with two marriages (one to a nurse) and 3 daughters and 4 girlfriends when he died at age 71 and he had no clue about the menstrual cycle!
Men were arguing that pads and tampons should be taxed because so is Viagra.
The men were saying pads and tampons are unnecessary.
Unnecessary?!!!
First of all, I have uterine fibroids, I cannot use tampons and If I dont use a pad (and even if I do) I will wake up on day one and day two of my period with blood seeping down my butt crack over the edge of the pad onto and thru my underwear and PJ bottoms and onto the bed.
If women dont use pads or tampons (or as my Dad called them, TAMPOOOONS) the world would look like this:
And now that I mentioned my Dad, lets go into him...
I was 12 when I got my period at my Fathers house, in 1979, it was a Sunday night, nothing was open. He told me he was gonna run to my Uncles restaurant and get stuff for me. He came back with a bag of vending machine tampons and pads.
Then 3 months later, I was at his house again and he was ANGRY cause I had used all the pads.
He had only brought me 10 to 15!
He seriously thought a woman needed ONLY 1 or 2 for the entire cycle!
Here is a man born in the 1920s, a Playboy, A Feminist, a man with two marriages (one to a nurse) and 3 daughters and 4 girlfriends when he died at age 71 and he had no clue about the menstrual cycle!
Fast forward to a year ago today and the Reddit article and things havent changed!
So let me educate the men about the menstrual cycle.
Facts:
The average period starts when a girl is 10-13
It lasts on average 5 days
It comes once a month.
PMS can start as many as 14 days prior to the actual period occurring.
Some girls/women bleed very lightly, others have can go thru a 40 pack of pads its so heavy.
Cramps are caused by 4 reasons
1) Contractions of the uterus trying to expel the blood and uterine tissue
2) Blood clots and uterine tissue being forced out of the Os (the cervical hole)
3) Prostaglandins creating stiffness in the entire pelvis and as a matter of fact, the entire body including the head and neck creating PMS headaches.
4) The uterine tissue peeling away from the walls of the uterus.
Sometimes the day before or right at the time of the period a woman can get diarrhea
A menstrual cycle lasts from age 12 to 55 on average before menopause.
The average woman spends $9,600.00 on pads/tampons in her lifetime. And thats before taxes.
Blood clots and uterine chunks can be as big as half a Dixie cup. Imagine pushing that out your cock hole. Ouch!
The first 2 days of the period are the heaviest.
Women on those first 2 days are in fear of sneezing, coughing and laughing, cause usually that means a bloody expulsion of gunk from the force of sneezing and destroyed clothing and/or furniture.
We usually have special period panties, mine are red or any version of red or black to hide blood stains. Blood stains always happen cause manufacturers still cant design mess proof pads.
Manufacturers also still cant design a quiet pad. The wrap and adhesive strip is still noisy, so women are always embarrassed when they go to change pads and everyone else in the bathroom can hear her unwrap and install their pads.
Tampons do not take a girls virginity.
Women have 4 choices: Tampons, Pads, Reusable Pads, and Menstrual Cups
Menstrual blood does have an odor. It changes thru out the cycle. From Roast Beefy To Metallic.
The irritability that comes with PMS, isnt just cause of hormones, its also due to inflammation from PROSTAGLANDINS. Since basically a period is kinda sorta an INJURY, prostaglandins rush in to cause redness, swelling and inflammation to occur to help with the shedding and tearing off of the uterine walls, then prostaglandins force the uterine walls to fall off and push out the blood and tissue thru the Os and out of the vagina.
A period is basically this:
Imagine a house.
Imagine that every month, you prepare for a guest to come and stay in your spare bedroom.
You wash and fluff the pillows and sheets in the bed, you wash and prepare the room for company.
The day company is supposed to show up, the cat goes and pees all over the room and guests never come so you strip the room and bed, and you stub your toes and trip on the cat and you are pissed off.
It happens EVERY MONTH from 12 to 55.
I tend to wear tight pants during the first 3 days, cause it keeps the pad tight against my skin and it prevents leaks.
I always drip on the toilet seat and I always get blood on my palm while wiping the first 3 days.
MIDOL is just a pain killer and water pill, telling us to take a Midol when we are in a bad mood just shows ignorance. It contains ZERO psychotropic drugs.
Endometriosis is a painful serious condition in which UTERINE CELLS establish themselves on other areas of the body away from the pelvis and during the period, they act like mini uteruses and have pain and swelling all over the body. Imagine if cells from your penis established themselves in your ear or nose etc and got stiff, swollen and painful when you got a woody every morning!
Hillary Clinton is 72, she hasnt had a period or PMS in 17 years. her judgement wouldnt be affected by her non existant period. She also doesnt have a libido much so she wouldnt be in a pizza shop running a sex ring either.
Not every woman has PMS the same way.
Every period is different.
Some women get zero cramps, others get horrific cramps and blood loss that requires hospitalization.
Sometimes PMS is so miserable that you cant wait for the period to start to get it over with. Sometimes sex or masturbation can jump start a period to start. Other times, just a carby meal. Dont confuse pre period masturbation for an invitation to have sex though, its utilitarian.
Women can get extremely aroused during PMS, due to all the inflammation and swelling.
Menopause is the absence of a period for 1 full year.
Menopause can occur from 25 to 65
Peri Menopause is a long process that can take 15 yrs. Preparing you for menopause.
Common Symptoms of Perimenopause:
1. Hot flashes, flushes
2. Night sweats (often accompanied by cold feet!)
3. Cold flashes, clammy feeling
4. Bouts of rapid heart beat (Palpitations)
5. Chest pain on exertion
6. Shortness of breath (at rest or upon exertion)
7. Vaginal Dryness
8. Unusual vaginal discharge
9. Changes in the physical look of the labia
10. Loss of pubic hair
11. Bladder Control Problems
12. Recurring Urinary Tract Infections
13. Recurring vaginitis (yeast infection symptoms)
14. Breast tenderness and/or sagging
15. Sore, stiff, achy joints
16. Muscle soreness (muscle cramps, muscle weakness)
17. Backaches
18. Headache (increase or decrease in frequency or pain)
19. Weight Gain (especially around your waist and abdomen)
20. Inability to lose weight
21. Change in appetite (increase in or loss of)
22. Irritability and mood swings
23. Irregular Periods (changes in frequency, duration, skipped periods, phantom periods etc.)
24. Clotting of menstrual blood
25. Loss of libido
26. Insomnia / Disrupted Sleep / Fatigue
27. Unreasonable fatigue / lack of energy
28. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
29. Depression
30. Anxiety or Panic attacks
31. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
32. Increased memory lapses
33. Tingling or itchy skin.
34. Gastrointestinal distress (including indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea, diarrhea or constipation)
35. Exacerbation of existing conditions
36. Increase in allergies
37. Hair loss or thinning (anywhere on the body)
38. Increase in facial hair
39. Dizziness
40. Light-headedness
41. Loss of balance
42. Changes in body odor (anywhere on the body)
43. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
44. "Buzzing" in your head
45. Ringing in ears (Tinnitus)
46. Tingling in the extremities
47. Dry Mouth
48. Oral Symptoms (gum bleeding, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor, sore tongue, sensitivity to heat or cold, sore throat)
49. Changes in fingernails (softer, crack, split or break easily)
50. Skin Changes (dryness, thinning look, acne, age spots)
51. Dry, itchy, puffy eyes
52. Water retention
53. Bloating (swollen ankles or feet or elsewhere in the body)
54. Osteoporosis (bone loss)
55. Blood sugar imbalance
56. Fibrocystic breasts
57. Uterine fibroids
58. Hypothyroidism
59. Infertility
No comments:
Post a Comment