So I am bored out of my mind tonight. nothing is happening anywhere, and I dont eat after 7pm. So spurred on by an earlier post here, I thought Id write this.
You can post this and share it where ever you want, I dont care. Im not writing this to get attention, just to help.
So, I have been permanently No Contact with my mom for 21 years. I have no pics of my mom or her mom or my maternal aunts and uncles or my dead sisters, no mementos, nothing. I dont feel guilty. I will never forgive her, I don't care about her or love her. I did 20 yrs ago. But in these 20 years she has repeatedly done things, said things to people, and played her little games.
I see a lot of people post online who feel guilty, and sad and everything else about going no contact. Im gonna tell you why I dont feel guilty etc. Because somewhere along those 20 years I realized that it was ME who was really strong, ME who had talents and creativity, ME who was the only normal one in a house of very very bizarre behaviors and beliefs. I then realized that the reason I feel guilty or bad was because thats what I was told about myself for 37+ years, they break down your self esteem, your self confidence and gaslight you to hate yourself and then you doubt yourself, or worse yet you doubt you are worth having a better life or demanding better treatment.. Or you dont realize just how abnormal your childhood was/is and you teeter in self doubt OR If you have been told negative things about yourself since birth, you cannot see that ALL YOUR POSITIVES FAR OUTWEIGH YOUR NEGATIVES!
You are worth a happier, more positive, loving life!
Save the guilt for eating that hot fudge Sunday during keto.
So lets move on to the main post...
Why do children go No Contact:
After reading many posts on the internet, I feel like a great deal of turmoil is still there due to still staying in contact with family on the periphery, and/or continuing to open email, texts and snail mail and even phone calls from the offending party.
You need to decide if you want in or out......
If someone hurts someone I love I wont talk to that person. Your Parents are making a CHOICE. They are consciously choosing to hurt you.
No Contact is a painful, lonely road. Its not fun and you dont automatically feel better. It takes time. But you are worth it, and you need to find a Family of Friends.
Stop going HALF CONTACT.
Change Your Phone Numbers
Go Off The Grid For A Little Bit.
Slowly Unfollow Them ALL, Then Delete Them.
Do THIS Trick:
At 1:00AM Go Thru All Your Followers and People You Are Following On Instagram.
Find Every Single Person Associated With Your Family And Force THEM to Unfollow YOU, and Unfollow Them, then Go Private.
On Twitter and Facebook post a message saying that you have been Hacked on Instagram and you cant get your account back.
Then slowly do that to all your Social Media Accounts.
Change Your Emails
Block EVERYONE.
Change all your snail mail to a UPS PO Box, then change your address in Mail Forwarding to the PO BOX. And do not tell them your new address
Look, you need to HEAL completely FIRST, Once you heal completely you then can resist their nonsense easier.
Going half contact is like ripping a scab off over and over.
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