Ive been to many psychologists and a few psychiatrists.
I was too far gone by the time I sought therapy when I was with my sons father. Back then I still believed that I was the most horrible person that ever lived and I deserved abuse and everything in my life was my fault. I never entertained that it was my SCHOOL TEACHER moms fault or that I had PTSD or CPTSD.
I went to that therapist cause I wasnt having sex with my sons father, and I wanted to understand why.
I decided to find out why I wasnt able to be intimate with my "wonderful husband" who still told me he loved me 100 times a day, and looked up psychologists in the phonebook.
I went to see Dr Mary and sat there and told her, "I dont know why I cant have sex with my Boyfriend! Hes so nice, says he loves me all the time, blah blah blah" "He was abused by his dad, blah blah blah"
She sat there and looked at me and said to me, "What is he doing for YOU?"
NO
NO
"Is he helping around the house?"
NO
"Is he helping you with your son?"
NO
"Is he spending time with you?"
NO
No, No, No, No, No, and No! I answered.
She said, "Then why would you let your guard down and wanna be intimate with him? He does nothing for you."
Again, all things I should have known if I had had someone to talk to and get advice from. A parent!
For a long time, the law has been that therapists can not tell patients "WHAT TO DO", only suggest and nudge...
Because of this, Therapy takes YEARS and lots of money. My half sister was in therapy 25 years!
I realized a few years ago that going thru years of therapy is a waste of time and money. My sister certainly was not CURED of anything if she still carried heavy hate, jealousy and resentment towards me and my other sister till the day she died in 2020. She literally did not include me and our other sister in her obituaries, I was not mentioned in her will and she never told me she was dying...
SUCH HATE. Such a clear case that Therapy did not work for her.
Along the way I realized that I could be in therapy for decades, repeatedly ripping the Band-Aid off over and over and over and over.
I also realized that a lot of times people go to therapy for things and it does more harm than good, or it does nothing.
You need to ask yourself, "Do I want to spend decades in Therapy, and hundreds of thousands of Dollars, or should I just accept Im THIS way now, and embrace it and move on....?"
Thats what I did.
The last 6 therapists I went to damaged me more.
1) A Woman, kept talking to me about her Candida Yeast issue and refused to let me use her bathroom.
2) Was an EDU Dr (insurance doesnt cover those, since they arent for patients) plus he lied to me about taking EMDR classes. He never took a single class and I confirmed that with the EMDR institute, so fuck off!
3) EMDR Therapist, I sat down and he proceeded to go on a 30 minute rant about his evil ex wife. I stood up, said "THATS ENOUGH, I AM NOT YOUR THERAPIST" and walked the fuck out!
4) 2nd EMDR Therapist, was 45 minutes late for all 5 appointments and kept me in the office for 4-5 hours taking notes. I had just fallen down the stairs in my home and broke my tailbone and I was in pain from all that sitting. I called him and told him his behavior was unacceptable and I wont return.
5) WOMAN, fell asleep several times. BYE BITCH!
6) Went back to my only good therapist from 2003-2004 and he was not allowed to drive for 7 yrs cause of a DWI. He insisted that I had to have IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS that were causing my Anxiety and wouldnt listen to me. My anxiety is not about irrational thoughts its about the fact that all the bad shit thats happened to me happened several times and I was scared of it happening again. If something happens to you more than once you will be afraid of it happening again. RIGHT?
Enough! Im done!
So, I propose a wide spanning change to the entire industry.
5 New Rules:
1.
Patient makes an appointment, and is ordered to get blood tests before first appointment.
2.
Before first appointment, patient sits one evening at home and fills out reams of paperwork and questionnaires to complete. These questionnaires are fed into a computer program and the computer builds a profile. This saves a year in therapy.
3.
The appointment day arrives, the patient comes in, the first appointment is 3 hours long. The therapist talks to the patient and asks a lot of questions and firms up what the computer program says. At the end, the Therapist makes another appointment for 1 month. In that month the therapist talks to the patients parents, siblings and Mate to get their side of the stories.
4.
The Therapist collates the blood tests, questionnaires, discussions with F&F, and the in person responses and writes up a diagnosis and a recommended treatment plan and/or any drugs they may need.
5.
The Patient shows up in one month for the FINAL appointment. They receive their diagnosis and are given the treatment plan. Another appointment is made in 6 months to see how things are going.
Thats it! No more nonsense! No more appointments, no more ripping off Band-Aids.
10 hours of time total.
Diagnose them, give them a treatment plan, and check in on them once in awhile.
Lets do it!
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